The blur of futility: Happy 2022

I stumbled across this little sketch I posted to Instagram on the 31st of December 2021.
And even on that day— Before the last tick of the clock in 2021— I knew I had no real & positive expectations for 2022.
I had no goals for the new year.
Like so many other people, I was still reeling from the collective experiences of the previous two years.
When glancing at this sketch, a wave of futility swept over me.
2022 was but a blur.
Lots of things happened.
I experienced yet another year filled with disappointments at the office.
Why bother?
I didn’t post anything to precede the mythical arrival of 2023.
No drawings.
No poetry.
It’s all futile!

But afterward, I had a thought.
Maybe even an epiphany.
We often equate a peaceful and tranquil area with a mental image of those “Zen” rocks that get stacked— Overlooking the calm river— The epitome of Nirvana.
Happiness and balance.
So, despite the memories of 2020, 2021, and 2022 that weren’t uplifting, positive, or even happy— I can look back and see that I stacked those rocks— Those proverbial rocks.
And I’m still here.
I lived to tell the tale.
I’m OK.
And even when I’m not OK, it’s OK!
Those memories and those experiences made me grow.
I’m stronger than I was in 2022.
I’m balancing 2023 as we speak.
There will be more stones on top of this one. I hope!
There’s no way I’ll try and attempt to make this year perfect.
I want to experience this year in all its richness.
Bring on the flaws, the pain, the heartache, and the sadness.
But also surprise me with the joy, happiness, satisfaction, and bliss that can only stem from an unbiased understanding of the dark.
The darkness shows that the light exists.
It humbles.
It reaches from the ground with invisible fingers of steel— to ground us in reality and truth.
Lack of light leads the way towards examining light— with appreciation— When it chooses to return in unexpected moments.

Here’s to 2023.

Breathe appreciatively. Live and work mindfully.